Letters to Caris (6 Months)

I am filled with so many emotions as I sit here and contemplate all the things I want to say to you. You will never know how much you have changed my life. I never really considered myself "maternal". That's not to say I don't like children; I love them. I just didn't think that I wanted children of my own. From the outside looking in it just seemed like a person had to give up so much when he/she decided to become a parent. Admittedly, I was a very selfish person when it came to my time, money, etc..
Around November of 2006 your Daddy and I were talking and I let him know that maybe I was changing my mind about the whole "kid" thing. I don't really know what one thing caused the change of heart. I just remember thinking that your Daddy is such a great person and that it would be a shame if, when he left this earth, he wouldn't leave anything behind. And, yes, I guess I wanted to leave my mark on the world as well. Those sound like totally selfish reasons, so let me assure you that they weren't the ONLY reasons. During those few months I felt a guiding hand on my life. Having a baby just felt right. I know now that it was God reassuring me that this was His plan for us, but I have to admit I was not as strong in my faith then and I just didn't put it all together.
Let me make it clear, we told NOONE that we had changed our minds. We fielded all of the "When are you guys gonna have a couple" questions at Christmas that year just like we always had - "No thanks, we're good!". So, you can imagine the surprise on EVERYONE'S faces when we told them the news. It was great! I wish that feeling for you. I want you to know how it feels when those you love most are truly happy and excited for you. I wish the happiness and joy for you that your Daddy and I feel everyday just from having you in our lives. You are such a special child. God hand-picked you for us, I just know He did. And we are so blessed to be able to shape your little life.
I want to close with a few random bits of advice; things I hope you'll take to heart and apply to your life. After your relationship with God, your family is THE most important thing in life. Do everything within your power to love them, support them, and help them. Also, learn to cook. Mom didn't and your poor Daddy has suffered because of it! Learn to love football. Baseball is too slow, basketball is too fast - but football is just right! Always have spearmint gum, good hand lotion and chap stick in your purse. Learn how to tell others as well as yourself "No". Lastly, find someway each day to laugh. It makes your day better and could improve someone else's as well.
Hugs & Kisses,
Mom